“Dr. Laura urgently conveys to women that the to take proper care of their husbands is to ensure themselves the happiness and satisfaction they yearn for in marriage. Women want to be in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Yet disrespect for men and disregard for the values, feelings, and needs of husbands has fast become the standard for male-female relations in America, often creating struggle and strife in what could be a beautiful relationship.” I actually read this book when I was first married. My mother-in-law purchased it and we passed it around to all of the girls in the family. Since I had the opportunity to do this review, I decided to read it again. This is by far one of my favorite books on marriage for this reason: I cannot control my husband’s actions. However, I can control my own and by doing so…I can change his actions. Make sense? How I treat my husband invariably determines how he treats me. If I am unkind and insufferable…I can expect that same behavior from him. Oh, not right away of course, but in due time a man can only take so much. Men tend to be far more patient with us women because they love us and they hate to see us unhappy. Why? Because it’s bred into their gene pool. They want to take care of what is theirs. Take it from Dr. Laura, “Men admittedly are putty in the hands of a woman they love.“ What I absolutely love about this book is that Dr. Laura has a way of putting the true issues right in front of your face. She doesn’t hum-n-haw about important matters and she certainly doesn’t sugar-coat it for our benefit. Thank heavens for that! I have a true appreciation for anyone that can give the facts to me straight. That is what makes this book such an intriguing read. Dr. Laura gives examples from her own experiences with struggling couples from her radio program. It is really interesting to read the dialog that goes on between her and her listeners. From the outside in it seems like these couples problems are a no-brainer. But, we all know that on the inside of a marriage, our problems just don’t seem so easily solved. I had a lot of learning to do when I was first married. We all have to go through that period of time learning about the other person, but more importantly, learning HOW to treat the other person. We aren’t in courting-ville anymore…but we should be! Marriage doesn’t mean the end all of trying to please the other person. When I was first married I was independent to a fault, strictly clean and organized (I couldn’t even handle ONE dirty dish in the sink), and I tried my best to reform my husband’s way of thinking to be streamlined with my own. I can’t say that I was absolutely horrible…but, I’m grateful that my husband loved me enough to stay with me while I figured out that it wasn’t him who needed to change…IT WAS ME. We have both grown a great deal over the years and I have been thankful for the advice that I read in Dr. Laura’s book. It put some serious issues into perspective for me and made me realize the changes that I needed to make were necessary to the survival of my marriage. Dr. Laura says, “Men usually mean exactly what they say and don’t speak in the more indirect style more typical of women.” It’s so true! I used to play those little mind games of dropping ‘hints’ to my husband and getting upset when he didn’t “get it”. How could he not see those subtle hints that I kept giving him?? Because, ladies, unless you point it out in plain view for them, it’s not their fault and you’re not being fair to him. Unless they’re psychic…or they’re paying extreme attention out of fear of messing up. Dr. Laura used this example given by a man named Dan: “I am a thirty-seven-year-old man who has seen quite a bit in life, and I can offer this to your search for how to treat a man. We are men, not dumb-dumbs, psychics, or one bit unromantic. We need only clear communication, appreciation, honest love, and respect. This will be repaid by laying the moon and stars at your feet for your pleasure. There is no need to ‘work’ a man to get what you want. We live to take care of a wife, family, and home. Just remember that we are men, and know that our needs are simple but not to be ignored. A good man is hard to find, not to keep.” Also in this book, Dr. Laura talks about how many wives contract the “Frump syndrome”. At first this gave me the giggles and then I was appalled…and then I realized the reality of this truth. Personally, I work hard to keep my figure (which had gotten more voluptuous with age — I’ll admit that), but some days I just don’t have it in me to get all dolled up. My goal? To always look amazing when my husband walks through the door from work. It doesn’t always happen. I’m definitely human. However, there have been days where I am literally running to the shower and doing my hair an hour before my husband gets home at 6:00PM…and I have not regretted doing that…EVER. Dr. Laura also talks about the clothing we choose to wear to bed (please refer to my Not Just A Pair of PJs post). Ladies, intimacy is super important in marriage. No matter how you slice it. “{Intimacy] is to a husband what conversation is to a wife. When a wife deprives her husband of [intimacy] for days, even weeks on end, it is tantamount to his refusing to talk to her for days, even weeks.” ‘Nuff said. Now look, we all want to be an amazing wife. That is, of course, why you are on our beloved Dating Divas site to begin with, right? We all want to make our marriages not just better, but amazing!! There are a lot of tips and tricks that Dr. Laura shares in her book…a few of them I have just given you above. I just want each of you to know that I am definitely an example of a woman needing a personal change that I didn’t even realize I needed to begin with! So if you want to get serious about making some big changes in your marriage start by reading this book by Dr. Laura. Take notes, make some goals, and get to work. Incredible marriages don’t just happen, they are earned. You can check out MORE on Dr. Laura’s website!! How can YOU Enter THIS Giveaway? Such a great and informative book!! So….if you would like to enter THIS giveaway….you can do so by combining the following information….in ONE comment…. #1 – By subscribing to The DATING DIVA Weekly Newsletter {top right-hand corner of the website} & if you don’t already “like” us on Facebook, do that… and then let us know you are an official “newsletter reader” AND FB junkie in your comment. AND #2 – Please share with us what you do in your own marriage to take proper care of your spouse!?! {Include ALL of the above in just ONE comment. Thank you!!} Would you like an EXTRA SEPARATE entry?? #3 – Spread the word about THIS giveaway via email, blog post, text message, Facebook, or Twitter {Please re-post your actual ”Shout-Out” that you sent to all your friends in your comment below & let us know which networking method above you used. A link-back to that post/tweet/etc. if possible, would also be great!} Make SURE this is a separate comment than the one above…so you can have multiple entries for getting the news out! 🙂 The giveaway will end tomorrow night, April 23rd at 11:00 MST. We will announce the winners on our Facebook Fan Page on Monday, April 25th – so don’t forget to check back to see if the winner is YOU!! Open only to those living in the U.S. – SO sorry!!
