Anyone with a kid knows there’s more than just the physical toll that having a baby takes on a new mama. As if pregnancy, labor and delivery aren’t exhausting enough, the changes that happen in your everyday life (whether it’s your first bundle of joy or your fifth) are absolutely draining. Moms with new babies are usually so overwhelmed with caring for their newborns that they really forget to take care of themselves. As moms begin to acclimate to their new lifestyle, it’s all too common to lose some confidence. It can easily start to affect the marriage as there’s less interest in intimacy because their body has changed or they begin to feel as though their husband won’t feel the same way about them now that he’s seen… well, everything. It can feel like a real whirlwind but it makes such a difference to have a loving and supportive spouse to help you through it all. And just to remind all the moms out there that they really DO have loving and supportive husbands, we did a little survey of the men in our lives and in The Dating Divas’ community and we discovered some of the BEST news… these guys might even love their wives more after having a baby.
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. To learn more about ’em, click here. Wanna know what they REALLY think about you now, Mama? {Don’t worry it’s all good news!} Check it out, straight from the daddies… Postpartum Body How would you describe your wife physically using only ONE word? What do you wish your wife knew about her postpartum body?
So, we asked them to sum you up in just one word. The first thing that comes to mind when they think about their wife in a physical way. Here’s how the husbands of new mamas felt about their wives after they had a baby:
Gorgeous (Which was the TOP answer!) Glowing Stunning Sexy Hot Arousing Loved Smokin’ Wowzers!!! {Umm… this was my personal favorite!}
Wanna know what else?! He seriously does love your postpartum body, even when you feel a bit uncomfortable in it. Here’s what the men had to say:
She’s as beautiful as ever. I love it no matter what. She’s gorgeous no matter what she’s doing or what she’s wearing. She thinks her body changing is a big deal, but she’s still just as beautiful to me. I don’t even notice all the flaws she picks out about herself. She is still sexy to me (even if she doesn’t think she is). My wife has such a sexy body from head to toes! My favorite things about her body are her skin, her physique, her sexy legs among other things that are not G-rated! Lol!
Physical Attraction What makes your wife sexy even after having a baby?
Yep, it’s true—they still find you oh-so-sexy despite everything your body has been through. These guys had some sweet {and saucy} things to say:
She is curvier. I like that. My wife defines sexy for me; not some magazine or TV model. The love I have for her fuels my physical desire for her. All the things that made her sexy before having a baby are still there—now there’s just added love. She’s a hot momma.
Emotional Connection How does being parents make you feel closer to your wife? How has your relationship improved since the baby? What positive changes have you noticed in your wife’s personality?
Having a new little one can put a strain on your relationship as you learn to adjust but despite the challenges, it can also bring you two so much closer. Here’s what some of the husbands we surveyed had to say about the awesome ways their marriage has changed since the latest addition:
It allows us to be a team. I feel closer to her because of our shared responsibility to provide for and raise kids in a scary world. My wife and I have grown into the role of being parents. She is so sensitive to them and their needs. How unified we are in bringing up our children in the right way. We pull together because we have a common goal. Now there’s more than just our love for each other—there’s also a love that we share for our children and that has made us even closer. We created a human being… together! We are more mature and that has made our relationship more mature. We’ve learned to rely on each other more which is key to any relationship. Parenting is hard and we really have to work together as a team.
Not only did your relationship change, but YOU changed, too. Becoming a new mom (or becoming a mom of more kiddos) has likely changed your outlook on a few things. Here’s what husbands have noticed in their wives:
She is more passionate. I noticed how spiritual she is. She is so in tune with what is best for the kids. I am in awe of how spiritual she is sometimes. She’s more patient. I feel like we’ve changed together—we’re both more selfless and more loving since becoming parents. And she’s the one who leads the way and has been my example. No matter how down or upset or stressed she gets, our son always brings a smile, a happy tear, or a joyful laugh.
Maternal Side What have you noticed about your wife that you never noticed before she became a mother? What’s the first thought that pops into your head when you see your wife with your child? If you could tell your new baby one amazing thing about his/her mother, what would it be?
As you’re learning to become a new mom, your husband is watching. He’s totally impressed, so here’s what’s going through his mind and how he feels watching you sink into your maternal role:
She is so strong. How sincerely compassionate she is. She understands children and she defends them fiercely. She is the most loving, compassionate person that I know. Watching her go through pregnancy and childbirth just made me love and appreciate her even more. I’m in AWE of her. She is so selfless. I always knew how loving and nurturing she was but it turned up to a whole new level after she became a mom. That kid has an AMAZING mother! I’m the most blessed man on earth It makes her even more beautiful to see her as a mom. Bliss. I can only imagine how proud my Heavenly Father is of her and how she is on Earth to protect our children.
So, your new addition doesn’t quite grasp the concept of language yet, but if your husband could pass on some inside knowledge, here’s what he’d like your son or daughter to know about you:
She’ll do anything for you and is 100% loyal. That she has the best mom in the world. This woman has more love for you than you could ever imagine! She is hilarious! I would tell my kids how much their mom loves them—it’s impossible for them to even understand how deep and strong the love is that she has for them. When I wasn’t patient with you, your mother ALWAYS was.
Appreciation What sacrifices has/is your wife making? How does that make you feel? What impresses you most about your wife as a mother?
Being a mom doesn’t come without huge struggles {or huge rewards!} but don’t you worry, he knows how much you do and realizes the sacrifices you make for your family every day. He might forget to say “thank you” often enough, but check out how he feels about those sacrifices you’re making:
She stayed at home for a few years and I respect her so much for that. She decided to quit her job and be a full-time mom. That meant more to her than our standard of living. She puts their needs above her own. I know she sacrifices her sleep and her sanity, I am so very grateful. She sacrifices everything! She sacrifices sleep and time and… well… her whole day to be a better mom. She even sacrificed her health just to be able to be a mom. She always puts the kids’ wants and needs before her own. It’s humbling to watch. It makes me want to be better. She works part-time at home, sometimes late at night, to help cover bills and build savings. It makes me feel like she really wants to help out the family financially and be responsible for making money and spending it wisely.
Did you know your husband is SO proud of you?! Well, he is!! Here’s some of what husbands had to say that impresses them about YOU:
She always knows exactly what to do. She always puts the kids needs before her own. She has gained super powers immediately after giving birth. She can do it all. She juggles EVERYTHING. I’m amazed at all she can accomplish and get done in a day. It’s crazy. Patience with our child even late at night.
Thanks Pretty much all the husbands who responded also wanted us to pass on to you a big, gigantic, heartfelt “Thank you” for everything you have given them and everything you do.
They are my “why” every single day that keep me going and motivated to become a better husband and father when I see how they interact and see the joy between them. I want my wife to know that I notice all she’s doing for our family and children and that it’s appreciated. I don’t want her to ever think that the important and hard work that she does goes unnoticed. It makes a world of difference in our home and our family and I love her for it. Having a child with my wife has taught me the true joy of parenthood. It has made me feel a level of love and gratitude I didn’t realize was possible. Thank you, babe! I love you!
So, here’s hoping that you’ve read the truth and gained a little perspective. Stop being so hard on yourself and get some of that confidence back. He definitely still loves you and finds you incredibly attractive—in many ways that love and attraction has even grown! It might be different, but different isn’t always such a bad thing. Your lives are different, your marriage is different, but think of it as growth and progress towards a new and wonderful normal. Because getting used to life after having a baby is kind of a big deal and lots of the Divas have been through this adjustment period, we’ve actually got a bit to say about it! If you find yourself feeling down and need a little guidance, Ferren created an amazing resource for Understanding Postpartum Depression. Then, check out our tips on continuing to have a strong Marriage After Baby and Keeping the Romance Alive After Kids. As Your kiddos grow, don’t forget to Gross Your Kids Out and Spoil Your Spouse, Not Your Kids. And just because you’ve got a baby now, don’t forget about DATE NIGHT—try our New Parents Cozy Date Night In, it’s seriously perfect for reconnecting! If you are looking to do a little reading on strengthening your relationship, don’t miss our Top 12 Favorite Marriage Books.
