Labels come and go, and they are incredibly subjective. For instance, where one person might find me “a good listener,” or “kind,” another might label me “controlling,” “impatient,” or “obsessive.” Whether we recognize them or not, we all move through our lives wearing a hodgepodge of sticky labels. And these labels frame our experience in a powerful—though not always helpful—way. It’s not all bad. Labels can help us bring order to chaos in an instant. The challenge is that each person and situation is more than any one label you might give it. Nothing and no one is only wonderful, or only terrible, or beautiful or ugly or right or wrong. Ignoring this fact can make a big difference to our overall experience of life. Recent research from the University of Pennsylvania suggests that we may actually ignore information that does not support our ideas about “who we are,” and our behavior follows suit. We can essentially get stuck with a confirmation bias toward our own selves, where we receive information in a way that confirms our preexisting ideas and beliefs, and we don’t investigate any further than this. So, once we determine which category something falls into—including our own personality—we lose all curiosity. Living with blinders on limits our potential for growth and well-being. When we become too certain or fixed upon any given label, we restrict our chance to experience life’s vast array of surprises and opportunities.
A Mindful Practice to Let Go of Your Labels
Once you’ve spent some time getting to know your labels, having a little fun with them can be a great practice. For instance, if you’re the quiet one, see what happens if you label yourself outgoing and start a conversation. If you identify yourself as a “Type A” person, what happens if instead you label yourself as laid back, and slow down on the freeway? We don’t have to like how it feels. We can try on different hats, exploring as many experiences as we can. We aren’t likely to ever stop labeling. It’s so automatic, and it’s completely natural. But we can take time to notice, to see what we lose or gain when these labels remain unexamined, and through that we can gain an exciting new perspective on ourselves. We can break free from our personality prisons—even if just for a little while—and with that new freedom we can open up to a life of discovery, richness, and fresh possibilities.
